Definition of Love: What is Love

Definition of Love: What is Love
Love is a word with many connotations. This is my definition.
Definition of Love: What is Love
Dictionaries have different meanings for this word. But when I think about this word, my mind conjures up images of all kinds of beautiful things that I have always associated with this word. Flowers, chocolates, candle light dinners, hearts, soft toys, clothes and perfumes, (I hope I haven’t left anything out!) these are the words that have become synonymous with love…but, what about the feelings and emotions associated with this word!

I remember growing up with stars in my eyes and love songs ringing through my ears. Slowly my dreams grew bigger and I started waiting for my Prince Charming to come along and take me with him to a beautiful land where we would be surrounded by servants, good clothes, flowers and jewelry. One day I realized the truth about love...that it was much more than material comforts and gains.

Love is Sharing

Believe me when I say that this is one of the most important ingredients of love. It is important to open ones heart and share – pain, joy, success and failure, it really does not matter, as long as the heart is clear. Love is being honest and knowing that the other person feels the same way too, it is sharing and losing ones inhibitions and knowing that the person on the other side will never be judgmental.

Love is Talking

Yes, love is talking. It is about speaking, telling and sharing. After some time people restrict their conversations to discussing bills, children and pets. This is a sure indicator of things going down hill. Bring the spark back by starting a conversation.

Love is Spending Time Together

A few minutes spent together everyday keeps the boredom away. I just made this up right now, but it is because I feel there is nothing like time invested in a relationship…believe me, it pays! Heavy work schedules take up much time and effort, so it is important to get things into perspective.

Love is Faithfulness

To love means to be true, to love unconditionally means to give with all your heart to one, and only one. Love is when you realize that he/she is the best thing that has happened to you and you want to cherish that person and the moments spent with him/her till death do you part.

Love is Being Friends

Love is being friends with each other. Enjoying simple pleasures in life like shopping, catching a movie or watching television at home, apart from a host of other things that "Friends" normally do!

Love is Looking Together in the Same Direction

This may sound clichéd, but it is true…love is having the same goals and taking steps in that direction to make them come true.

I would like to end with one of my favorite quotations…

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly
and without law, and must be plucked where it is found,
and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration."
- D. H. Lawrence

By Rachna Gupta

I’m Only Yours 5

I’m Only Yours 5
Here is the part 5. I hope you guys will like it. I’m sorry for any mistakes...
"Life is not what it seems to be. There is always something hidden behind the mask", Shane suddenly started the conversation. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. He was usually a straightforward type of guy but today, he was sounding really complicated.
"What do u mean? I don’t get anything"
"U will in the right time. Your purpose of life will be shown to u soon."
"U made it sound like I am very special, and there is something big that I need to do."
"There is. U are gonna do something big and special cause u r very special." He made me confused again. I never thought I was special, and what was he really talking about when he said there is something big and special. I think I am not good at anything. I am just worthless, how can I be able to do something big or special.
"Don’t u miss your mom?" he asked with a caring tone.
"How do u know about my mom? U were not even here when my mom died." I was extremely shocked.
"I know this kind of thing, and other things that are very important to u." though he was really sweet, how will he know this kind of things.
"What? It’s impossible. I mean how will u know so much about me."
"Like I told u before, cause u are special. Enough talking, we need to get going, and I am sure u would not want to see Micheal dead." He sounded kind of mean when he said that. Did he realized what he was saying? Though I didn’t love Micheal, it still was kind of mean to say that.
"What is wrong with u? What is your problem? U are acting so different. Are all the guys like this?"
"Teri, don’t get …….."
"Its better if u leave me alone n u can go wherever u want, and I am sure I can find the way by myself." I wasn’t sure why but I was being mad at him.
"Are u sure?" I was expecting him to try to convince me to not to leave but instead it seemed like he didn’t really cared.
"Sure as sure can be. At least I don’t wanna be with u, that’s all that matters for now." so I started going on my own, with even turning back to look at him, which I usually did. "what does he think of himself? Can I not go on my own? Of course I can. I will be fine without him. I don’t even need him", I was saying it to myself until I started hearing those weird sounds again. It sounded like of wild animals, beasts,………
No, I didn’t wanted to die.
I decided it was better to go back but I couldn’t. I mean I will be brave and face it. No, I don’t want to die. Then those sounds started freaking me out. I quickly ran back, and found Shane in the same place where he had been last time. I quickly ran towards him, and hugged him. He laughed.
"I knew u would come back", he didn’t sounded mean instead it sounded funny. He laughed again.
"You are so annoying. What do u think of yourself? I thought u would come after me but u didn’t and instead of comforting me, u r laughing. I hate u. I hate u so much." I was trying to sound like I was really annoyed.
"If I had come after u, I would not have gotten a hug from u." this time he sounded really serious.
"Promise me that u won’t leave me again."
"I will never leave u." he promised, and we decided to go and look for Micheal.
I was starving. I was so hungry. I needed food or else I was sure that I will die. I think Shane noticed that and started asking, "are u hungry?"
"Yeah." I said it in a really low voice.
"I will go and get something for u."
"No…. I mean I don’t want u to be lost like Micheal."
"I won’t be".
"But u cant leave me! What if I heard those weird sounds again? No one is gonna be hear to save me."
"I will come back soon. I won’t let anything happen to u. Trust me."
"I trust u." I didn’t wanted to say that but it just blur out of my mouth. I think I really did trusted him. With that, he gave me an adorable smile, and kissed me in my forehead.
"I will be back soon, and I won’t break your trust."
"I hope so." That was it. Then he left me there alone. I decided I could wait, and that was all I could do.
Wait……
I started hearing those weird sounds again, but I still decided to wait. After about 30 minutes, he was back. I hugged him and he smiled. He had brought a strange fruit with him, which I had no idea, what it was. So I asked him, and he said that he had tested it, and it tested like berry. Even though it was like 5 times bigger then berry, I actually liked it.
We looked everywhere for Micheal, but we couldn’t find him. Was he okay? I was becoming really concerned for him. After all, I was the one who lead him to this forest. If anything ever happened to him, I will blame myself for it.
"Do u think Micheal is okay?" I asked.
"Why u so worried about him?" he seemed to be a little jealous.
"Well, I am the one who lead him to this forest, and he went to look for food for me. I want him to be ok."
"U know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think he is already gone."
"What u mean?"
"I mean it only took me 30 minutes to get u food, so it wont take him that long to…….." I cut him of.
"But why would he left me here?"
"U know nothing about him. Its just been 2 days since u have met him and u ……."
"How do u know that it’s just been 2 days? And anyway u don’t even know him. Why r u acting like u know everything? I mean how do u know so much……."
"Let me finish it for u. I know Micheal from a long time and u don’t know much about him. He is not what u think he is."
"Wait…. But how do u know Micheal?"
"I know him cause ………. Forget it. It’s a long story. You will know about it later."
"Why cant u just tell me everything? Stop making things more complicate then they are, okay?"
"Okay. My dad and his dad had like really big fight, and some how his dad killed my dad. From that day, I have started keeping watch on him and his family, so I know this kind of things."
"I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt u." He didn’t say anything to me, and just stared at the forest.
"U know, I actually really miss my mom. I wish she was here with me ………."
"Its ok Tersa." He put an arm around me, and said, "u see, life is not what it really seems to be but there are good things too." I just nodded. It felt good to be in his arms, then after about 2 minutes, he asked, "what do u want to do?"
"What u mean?"
"I mean shall we go back or should we go and look for Micheal?"
"I don’t know. I mean I don’t care." I was being so comfortable in his arms that I couldn’t think about anyone else but him.
"I think we should go back. Your new mom might be worrying about u."
"How do u know about my new mom?" he knew like everything, and he was making me confused again.
"I know a lot more about u."
"But how is that possible?"
"I was keeping watch on Micheal, then I found u, so I…………"
"What? I mean how can u? (I didn’t wanted to be more confused then I already was) okay, can u be more clear?"
"I can’t. I will tell u when the right time comes."
"And when is that?" I asked with little interest in my voice.
"Soon", that was all he said. Then we started walking. He was walking faster, and I was already getting so tired, but I still managed to catch up to him.
"I can’t walk anymore." I said with my voice sounding really tired.
"Just walk for a while then will stop." He still sounded so calm but it did no help. I still was feeling so tired.
"Shane………………. I can’t walk anymore. Have mercy on me." He laughed. He then came towards me and easily carried me. Of course, now I was feeling better.

By only way

The Physics and Chemistry of Love

The Physics and Chemistry of Love
Love, like all things bound to the universe, is non existent without some amount of physics and chemistry attached to it. As a scientist cynically pointed out, cupid’s arrows would never have been effective if they had not been first dipped in one unromantically named chemical- phenylethylamine.
Nor would the human body’s reaction have given us dramas like Romeo and Juliet, if oxytocin did not have its way. Together these two form the chemistry of love. The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, Phenylethylamine (commonly dubbed the `love molecule'). Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are (unfortunately) clinically explained as an overdose of this chemical. A very interesting thing is that chocolate is known to have very high level of this chemical…perhaps that’s the reason why it is considered a perfect gift for valentine. Or for your sweetheart.

The latest discovery is the arrangement of molecules in this chemicals and the whole world is excited because now, like the witches of the yore, we can actually concoct love potions. In other words, mankind could be on its way to isolating the chemical compound and making drugs that can induce these reactions in us, in other words….you take the drug, and you fall in love with the next person you see. Imagine the chaos that the world will face. But the scientists say that as of now, this discovery will be used to find out how it can help in some other chemical reactions, to cure disease or other, more useful pursuits and research (though everyone agrees what can be more useful than making someone fall with in love you!!!!)

At this point of time, research on the phenylethylamine molecule breakthrough could be extremely helpful in testing of chemicals related to mental illness. Parkinson’s disease could be one.

So what are we left with? Explanations, but nothing is still in our hands. What we know about love is still largely out of our control. For instance, infatuation. This is supposedly the first stage of falling in love, an unbearable attraction towards someone. This attraction causes a virtual explosion of nuerochemicals very similar to adrenalin. Assisted by Phenylethylamine (that speeds up the flow of information between cells), dopamine (that makes us glow and feel good), and norepinephrine (that stimulates the production of adrenalin), make our world go round, our eyes sparkle and our heart beat faster. Our entire existence then depends on the sight of the person who triggered these reactions to begin with, and as the addiction to the chemical grows stronger, our attraction becomes greater. At this stage we commit foolish mistakes which are the stuff puppy love stories are made of. Actually it is these three chemicals that combine to give us what we call infatuation. We feel we are energized, often floating on air…and the reason why people who are just falling in love can talk for hours on end… (the same person becomes boring at a later stage).

We can blame our chemicals for everything. We had a list of attributes ready for matching, but we just end up falling in love with the person who possesses none of them…it is , as they say, chemistry. Social obligations, other relationships, sense and sensibility, all take a back seat; our mind soars with these natural drugs. No wonder, a lover and a madman are said to be alike. Scientists also opine that this `clicking’ would be with a person with whom we can identify a parent-child situation. A person who, in our subconscious, will give us back something we feel we lost during our growing up years. For some it is security, for some others, it is warmth, and then others, just a spirit of adventure. This could be the reason why demure, well brought up girls usually fall for wastrels. This subconscious selection of mate gets our phenylethylamines and other chemicals moving. This period when our brain is awash with the love hormones lasts for different durations in different people, between six months to three years. In most of us, it settles down after that. For mercurial people, this high is missed and that’s the reason why they need another temporary high….another relationship, another chemical fix. If these love junkies stay married, they will need new relationships to keep their dope, and sometimes, bigger highs. hence bigger risks.

In this world of chemical signals, humans are not scientifically considered monogamous; we do not fall under the 3% of the species that are monogamous. The species that stick to one mate usually have a rich flow of another chemical called vasopressin, the monogamy chemical. Experiments done with males injected with this chemical brought out all the evidence needed. Isolating males before and after mating showed that before mating, he was indifferent to all females. But 24 hours after mating, he is hooked for life. The jealous husband syndrome sets in too.

Another interesting chemical is oxytoxin, the `cuddling ‘chemical. It promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover’s look, smell or even a fantasy.

So much for the chemistry of infatuation. When infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, which is responsible for intimate relationships. These chemicals are created by endorphins. They make a relationship steadier, intimate, dependable, warm and a great sharing experience. They do not induce a giddy high, but calmness and stability…hence are the reason why people stay married. The longer they are married, the longer two people stay together, because this chemical is addictive. It is endorphins that trigger grief on a spouse’s death or long separation, those yearnings for togetherness. The two types of attachments can be summed up as follows…adrenaline love is being in love with the idea of being in love. While endorphins, we like loving someone.

So much for the magic of love and the realms written on it. It did come out of a bottle after all….and continues to afflict us….generations after generation.