Ways to Say I Love You
Learn a variety of ways to say I love you with both your words and your actions and build a stronger, healthier relationship.
The best ways to say I love You involve not only words, but actions as well. They don't cost anything and come straight from the heart. Yes the words are absolutely essential, but those words need to be reinforced with strong action. Your lover needs to see your love as well as hear it. If you say "I love you" and yet you never spend time together or show affection, then your words will be questioned. If your words say one thing and your actions say another, then doubts will arise.
The importance of this should not be underestimated or overlooked. It is essential to the quality and success of your relationship.
The expression of love should be consistent, spontaneous, free and bold. Let your lover know without a doubt, each and every day, that they are loved, desired, appreciated and special.
Here are a few ideas to help you on your way.
* Just say it. Say it out loud at least once a day.
* Give them a loving hug before they leave for work.
* Whisper it in your lover's ear as your grocery shopping.
* Take a walk in the moonlight holding hands.
* Write it on the mirror in the bathroom after a steamy shower.
* Put silk sheets on the bed.
* Tell them or write it on a card "I can't imagine my life without you."
* Learn how to say "I love you" in sign language.
* Put a picture of the two of you in a small frame and sit it on their desk.
* Replace the light bulbs in the bedroom with a soft sensuous color or their favorite color.
* Make an origami heart and leave it on their pillow.
* Wake your lover by whispering "I love you" in their ear.
* Bring your lover an "I love you" balloon.
* Send your lover secret love mail.
* Text them or call them in the middle of the day just to say "I love you."
Use these suggestions as a guide, but also learn your own creative ways to say I love you that reflect who you are and tend specific to your relationship. Treat your lover as if every day is Valentine's Day and your relationship will flourish in splendor.
Learn why expressing your love is important to your sex life.
By Cynthia Perkins
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A Simple Formula to Keep Love and intimacy Alive
A Simple Formula to Keep Love and intimacy Alive
One of the most effective ways to keep love alive and deepen intimacy is to find ways to make your spouse or partner feel cared for and important. Couples often neglect this vital part of their relationship. This article describes simple ways to make appreciation a regular part of your marriage or relationship.
I bet if I asked you what you had for breakfast this morning, you'd have a concrete answer. (Even if the answer is "Black coffee" or "Didn't have time.")
But how about if I ask you to recall something arguably more important than a single morning meal? Let's see how you fare:
In what specific way did you make your partner feel important today? Hmmm?
You didn't think of it? Okay, one missed opportunity might not be a big deal. How did you make your significant other feel special yesterday? What's that? You were too busy. I totally understand--when the work day ends, you have to juggle the kids' itineraries: soccer, music lessons, math tutor. Not to mention putting food on the table. Gotcha.
So reach back into the recesses of your memory. What did you do to openly communicate how important your partner or spouse is to you last week? Last month?
I'm sure you get my point. But it's a point that needs stating anyway, since it applies to each and every one of us:
Your marriage or relationship needs continual nurturing in order to remain healthy.
Gardening is an apropos analogy: consistent care (watering, weeding and pruning) is needed for your garden to flourish. Can you imagine what your rose garden would look like after ignoring it for several weeks?
Formula for Love and Intimacy
One of the most effective ways to keep love and deepen intimacy is to find ways to make your spouse or partner feel cared for and important.
You and your partner + messages of appreciation = Lasting Love
Here's the best part: you can make your partner feel important in as little time as it takes to comb your hair.
Typically, when we talk to our mates, we tend to focus on the things that have to be done. ( "Are you picking Tobey up from karate, or am I?" "Did you mail the mortgage payment?") And in general, we also naturally tend to point out things that need fixing. ( "Waiter, I asked for the hollandaise on the side…my eggs are drowning in it.") But how often do we take the tiny amount of time to regularly articulate the things that work?
All to often, when things are running smoothly, we begin to neglect what works in our marriages or relationships. The cost of this neglect: you and your partner begin to feel unappreciated, emotional intimacy between you dwindles, sex becomes rote and mechanical. People often rationalize that it isn't so bad living in a chronic state of disconnection from their loved one (after all, most of the couples you know don't seem happy either). Some look to people outside of the relationship to make them feel special and appreciated. It shouldn't be this way. And it doesn't have to.
Change patterns of love-neglect
Keep this simple. In fact, the simpler the better. The goal is to be consistent and make it last. (And most people, no matter how busy, can wedge simple, easy tasks into their routines.) Start with small, loving and supportive statements. Here are few areas to focus on in your marriage or relationship:
Messages of appreciation:
Any sentiment that communicates thanks and gratitude fall into this category:
Make it a habit to say "Thank you" more often, even when you partner or spouse does the little things that s/he has done a million times before (poured you the first cup of morning coffee, fed the dog, took out the trash…even if you had to ask). Make sure your partner hears your thanks. (In other words, don't mutter it or say it under your breath. Be generous with your verbalized gratitude.)
Beyond "Thank you," try to add statements like:
"You're such a giving person";
"That was so thoughtful of you";
"That really helped me";
"I appreciate what you did for me";
"You're such a hard worker";
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me";
"That was kind of you."
As you grow more accustomed to pointing out the positive things, you'll naturally see places where these types of statements will fit. And of course your partner will be more motivated to continue to do whatever it was that earned your warm appreciation. So you shape a wonderfully reciprocal situation when you tell him/her you appreciate something.
Here are some other ideas for statements you can use in other situations:
Messages of love and interest:
"I love you"; "I missed you"; "I can't wait to see you"; "You make me so happy"; "I love spending time with you"; "I look forward to spending time with you"; "I'm thinking of you"; "I love that about you"; "How was your day?"; "I'd love to hear about it"; "How would you like to celebrate?"
Messages of support and commitment:
"We're in this together"; "What can I do to help?"; "Don't worry, I'll take care of it"; "That took a lot of courage"; "I'm so proud of you"; "You did a great job"; "I'm sending you good-luck vibes"; "I'm here for you"; "Tell me what you need."
Gestures of love and support :
Actions often speak louder than words. So in addition to regularly sending your partner verbal messages of appreciation to make him/her feel special, take the necessary action steps to make this happen in other ways. And remember: big gestures aren't necessary. A relationship benefits from regular, consistent, smaller gestures, not large-but-rare ones.
A kiss; a hug; holding hands; touching one another; a smile; a loving glance; a wink; a wave; a thumbs-up; a high-five; making him laugh or smile; making her coffee; bringing home his favorite food; a loving note, e-mail, text message, or voice message; a gift; a pleasant surprise; helping out more; being present; being playful; planning for fun…
These lists are by no means exhaustive. Start with them and practice with your partner. It's important to feel the truth behind each statement of love you send. If you parrot statements you truly don't believe, your insincerity will come through. Your goal is to touch your partner's heart, and to do that you have to be in tune with your own heart first.
Feeling loved and appreciated go hand-in-hand. Love and emotional intimacy are nurtured by messages and actions that make you and your partner feel special. While this tends to flow naturally when couples are first dating, years into the relationship it often takes reminders and consistent effort to stay on top of this vital part of your relationship.
To discover other ways to create a deeper, more intimate relationship visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.
As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship" and "Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue…before your arguments control you."
Dr. Richard Nicastro is a psychologist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich and his wife Lucia founded LifeTalk Coaching, an internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.
By Richard Nicastro
One of the most effective ways to keep love alive and deepen intimacy is to find ways to make your spouse or partner feel cared for and important. Couples often neglect this vital part of their relationship. This article describes simple ways to make appreciation a regular part of your marriage or relationship.
I bet if I asked you what you had for breakfast this morning, you'd have a concrete answer. (Even if the answer is "Black coffee" or "Didn't have time.")
But how about if I ask you to recall something arguably more important than a single morning meal? Let's see how you fare:
In what specific way did you make your partner feel important today? Hmmm?
You didn't think of it? Okay, one missed opportunity might not be a big deal. How did you make your significant other feel special yesterday? What's that? You were too busy. I totally understand--when the work day ends, you have to juggle the kids' itineraries: soccer, music lessons, math tutor. Not to mention putting food on the table. Gotcha.
So reach back into the recesses of your memory. What did you do to openly communicate how important your partner or spouse is to you last week? Last month?
I'm sure you get my point. But it's a point that needs stating anyway, since it applies to each and every one of us:
Your marriage or relationship needs continual nurturing in order to remain healthy.
Gardening is an apropos analogy: consistent care (watering, weeding and pruning) is needed for your garden to flourish. Can you imagine what your rose garden would look like after ignoring it for several weeks?
Formula for Love and Intimacy
One of the most effective ways to keep love and deepen intimacy is to find ways to make your spouse or partner feel cared for and important.
You and your partner + messages of appreciation = Lasting Love
Here's the best part: you can make your partner feel important in as little time as it takes to comb your hair.
Typically, when we talk to our mates, we tend to focus on the things that have to be done. ( "Are you picking Tobey up from karate, or am I?" "Did you mail the mortgage payment?") And in general, we also naturally tend to point out things that need fixing. ( "Waiter, I asked for the hollandaise on the side…my eggs are drowning in it.") But how often do we take the tiny amount of time to regularly articulate the things that work?
All to often, when things are running smoothly, we begin to neglect what works in our marriages or relationships. The cost of this neglect: you and your partner begin to feel unappreciated, emotional intimacy between you dwindles, sex becomes rote and mechanical. People often rationalize that it isn't so bad living in a chronic state of disconnection from their loved one (after all, most of the couples you know don't seem happy either). Some look to people outside of the relationship to make them feel special and appreciated. It shouldn't be this way. And it doesn't have to.
Change patterns of love-neglect
Keep this simple. In fact, the simpler the better. The goal is to be consistent and make it last. (And most people, no matter how busy, can wedge simple, easy tasks into their routines.) Start with small, loving and supportive statements. Here are few areas to focus on in your marriage or relationship:
Messages of appreciation:
Any sentiment that communicates thanks and gratitude fall into this category:
Make it a habit to say "Thank you" more often, even when you partner or spouse does the little things that s/he has done a million times before (poured you the first cup of morning coffee, fed the dog, took out the trash…even if you had to ask). Make sure your partner hears your thanks. (In other words, don't mutter it or say it under your breath. Be generous with your verbalized gratitude.)
Beyond "Thank you," try to add statements like:
"You're such a giving person";
"That was so thoughtful of you";
"That really helped me";
"I appreciate what you did for me";
"You're such a hard worker";
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me";
"That was kind of you."
As you grow more accustomed to pointing out the positive things, you'll naturally see places where these types of statements will fit. And of course your partner will be more motivated to continue to do whatever it was that earned your warm appreciation. So you shape a wonderfully reciprocal situation when you tell him/her you appreciate something.
Here are some other ideas for statements you can use in other situations:
Messages of love and interest:
"I love you"; "I missed you"; "I can't wait to see you"; "You make me so happy"; "I love spending time with you"; "I look forward to spending time with you"; "I'm thinking of you"; "I love that about you"; "How was your day?"; "I'd love to hear about it"; "How would you like to celebrate?"
Messages of support and commitment:
"We're in this together"; "What can I do to help?"; "Don't worry, I'll take care of it"; "That took a lot of courage"; "I'm so proud of you"; "You did a great job"; "I'm sending you good-luck vibes"; "I'm here for you"; "Tell me what you need."
Gestures of love and support :
Actions often speak louder than words. So in addition to regularly sending your partner verbal messages of appreciation to make him/her feel special, take the necessary action steps to make this happen in other ways. And remember: big gestures aren't necessary. A relationship benefits from regular, consistent, smaller gestures, not large-but-rare ones.
A kiss; a hug; holding hands; touching one another; a smile; a loving glance; a wink; a wave; a thumbs-up; a high-five; making him laugh or smile; making her coffee; bringing home his favorite food; a loving note, e-mail, text message, or voice message; a gift; a pleasant surprise; helping out more; being present; being playful; planning for fun…
These lists are by no means exhaustive. Start with them and practice with your partner. It's important to feel the truth behind each statement of love you send. If you parrot statements you truly don't believe, your insincerity will come through. Your goal is to touch your partner's heart, and to do that you have to be in tune with your own heart first.
Feeling loved and appreciated go hand-in-hand. Love and emotional intimacy are nurtured by messages and actions that make you and your partner feel special. While this tends to flow naturally when couples are first dating, years into the relationship it often takes reminders and consistent effort to stay on top of this vital part of your relationship.
To discover other ways to create a deeper, more intimate relationship visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.
As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship" and "Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue…before your arguments control you."
Dr. Richard Nicastro is a psychologist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich and his wife Lucia founded LifeTalk Coaching, an internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.
By Richard Nicastro
How To Write a Romantic Love Letter
How To Write a Romantic Love Letter
If writing a love letter leaves you speechless, use these simple techniques to get what's in your heart on paper.
How To Write a Romantic Love Letter
Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem automatically reduce your vocabulary to a 5-year-old’s level? Well, believe it or not, that’s a great place to begin!
Kids speak straight from the heart. They don’t worry about tripping over the right words, they only know how to say what they want using the most simple language. As adults, we let our thinking get in the way of our emotions and worry about the details before we have the big picture.
Dream a love letter
You don't need a sample love letter or a free printable love letter. You're going to dream up your own romantic love letters.
An indispensible tool for writing is a thesaurus. You'll find many free ones online; they're a wonderful aid to finding exactly the right word. Have paper and pen ready to jot notes, but forget about words and writing for now.
Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down, let your shoulders drop and take a few deep breaths, at least 5 or 6. Inhale deeply, feel the air going to the bottom of your belly, then slowly exhale as you pull in your abdomen.
Close your eyes and begin visualizing the one you love and create a movie of you slowly running your eyes over every inch of their body. What do you especially appreciate? View their eyes looking back at you, run your fingers through their hair, caress their cheek and softly brush your lips against theirs. See the smile of joy, the tilt of their head towards you, their arms around you. Feel their heart beat against yours and take in the warmth of their skin. Watch as they run towards you, eager to rush into your arms. How do you feel?
Let your movie continue running. Pull out the memories of when you had a lot of fun and laughter, your most passionate times together or when you were sad and your love silently held you close. Which of them brings up the most emotion in you? What do you see, hear, taste, touch and feel? What are they wearing . . . or not wearing?
Linger a little longer; let the feelings run throughout your entire body. Are you getting little tingles running up and down your spine?
First love letter steps
The most emotional memories are the ones that will fuel your love letter or poem. You should be in a better mood for writing, relaxed and smiling. Take a few more deep breaths before you begin to write.
You don’t have to get up; this might put you into "thinking" mode. Begin jotting notes down. Slowly replay each movie and describe the scenes with short, simple phrases, as a child would. Later on, you can link these shorter phrases into longer ones, but for now, you want to capture all the sensations, physically and emotionally, that being with the one you love means to you.
Love and emotions are abstract concepts so you need "furniture" to make it real. Your movie gives you this material. Relate the juicy details of the surrounding scenery, your love, what all your senses experience and add them to your love letter.
Now put it all together.
Instead of "When you walk into a room and smile at me, I forget what I'm thinking," add the furniture. "You quietly glide into the sunlight streaming through the window, your silky hair falls over your shoulder. And then you gently tilt your head towards me and flash me that quirky little half smile of yours that gets my heart beating faster, my lips tingling . . . and I forget everything I ever knew as our eyes meet and lock into an embrace."
No fancy words, there’s only two words that have three syllables!
The "Laundry List" technique
If you find this difficult to do, the "laundry list" technique might work for you. Simply list all the qualities you appreciate about your love: physical, emotional, gestures, favorite sayings, funny habits. For physical, start at the top of their head and work down to their toes. For emotional, list different situations and how their response makes you feel.
Or you could make a list of all the dreams you both have and how you want to be together to share them.
Find a clip art heart (usually available in a word processing program) and use it as a bullet before each item in your list. Or give it a number, "101 Ways I Love You." Then print out your list on fancy paper. Add a photo of you both, either digitally or glue it on afterwards. Spray on a little cologne (at a distance) and, voila, you have a romantic love letter.
Love Poems
A love poem can be the most daunting to attempt and many won't even try. If you really want to make up a poem, but feel you have no talent, cheat a little! Look up a favorite poem and see if you can change a few lines to personalize it. Or do the same with a favorite song lyric, then perform it karaoke style. Go all out and dress up for the occasion.
If you have a special occasion you’re celebrating, you may want to have a poet put your feelings into a formal poem for you. Reciting the poem will make a bigger impact than just handing it over and as it may be gift wrapped, make sure you have a copy to read aloud.
Once you get the hang of it, love letters will flow from your heart and fingers. Remember the little kid in you and keep it simple.
Copyright 2005 Renee Michaels
Renee Michaels is an enthusiastic woman for all aspects of life and its fullest enjoyment. She uses her design, writing and life skills to develop web businesses. For a new romantic anniversary idea or two, visit LoveGifts.
By Renee Michaels
If writing a love letter leaves you speechless, use these simple techniques to get what's in your heart on paper.
How To Write a Romantic Love Letter
Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem automatically reduce your vocabulary to a 5-year-old’s level? Well, believe it or not, that’s a great place to begin!
Kids speak straight from the heart. They don’t worry about tripping over the right words, they only know how to say what they want using the most simple language. As adults, we let our thinking get in the way of our emotions and worry about the details before we have the big picture.
Dream a love letter
You don't need a sample love letter or a free printable love letter. You're going to dream up your own romantic love letters.
An indispensible tool for writing is a thesaurus. You'll find many free ones online; they're a wonderful aid to finding exactly the right word. Have paper and pen ready to jot notes, but forget about words and writing for now.
Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down, let your shoulders drop and take a few deep breaths, at least 5 or 6. Inhale deeply, feel the air going to the bottom of your belly, then slowly exhale as you pull in your abdomen.
Close your eyes and begin visualizing the one you love and create a movie of you slowly running your eyes over every inch of their body. What do you especially appreciate? View their eyes looking back at you, run your fingers through their hair, caress their cheek and softly brush your lips against theirs. See the smile of joy, the tilt of their head towards you, their arms around you. Feel their heart beat against yours and take in the warmth of their skin. Watch as they run towards you, eager to rush into your arms. How do you feel?
Let your movie continue running. Pull out the memories of when you had a lot of fun and laughter, your most passionate times together or when you were sad and your love silently held you close. Which of them brings up the most emotion in you? What do you see, hear, taste, touch and feel? What are they wearing . . . or not wearing?
Linger a little longer; let the feelings run throughout your entire body. Are you getting little tingles running up and down your spine?
First love letter steps
The most emotional memories are the ones that will fuel your love letter or poem. You should be in a better mood for writing, relaxed and smiling. Take a few more deep breaths before you begin to write.
You don’t have to get up; this might put you into "thinking" mode. Begin jotting notes down. Slowly replay each movie and describe the scenes with short, simple phrases, as a child would. Later on, you can link these shorter phrases into longer ones, but for now, you want to capture all the sensations, physically and emotionally, that being with the one you love means to you.
Love and emotions are abstract concepts so you need "furniture" to make it real. Your movie gives you this material. Relate the juicy details of the surrounding scenery, your love, what all your senses experience and add them to your love letter.
Now put it all together.
Instead of "When you walk into a room and smile at me, I forget what I'm thinking," add the furniture. "You quietly glide into the sunlight streaming through the window, your silky hair falls over your shoulder. And then you gently tilt your head towards me and flash me that quirky little half smile of yours that gets my heart beating faster, my lips tingling . . . and I forget everything I ever knew as our eyes meet and lock into an embrace."
No fancy words, there’s only two words that have three syllables!
The "Laundry List" technique
If you find this difficult to do, the "laundry list" technique might work for you. Simply list all the qualities you appreciate about your love: physical, emotional, gestures, favorite sayings, funny habits. For physical, start at the top of their head and work down to their toes. For emotional, list different situations and how their response makes you feel.
Or you could make a list of all the dreams you both have and how you want to be together to share them.
Find a clip art heart (usually available in a word processing program) and use it as a bullet before each item in your list. Or give it a number, "101 Ways I Love You." Then print out your list on fancy paper. Add a photo of you both, either digitally or glue it on afterwards. Spray on a little cologne (at a distance) and, voila, you have a romantic love letter.
Love Poems
A love poem can be the most daunting to attempt and many won't even try. If you really want to make up a poem, but feel you have no talent, cheat a little! Look up a favorite poem and see if you can change a few lines to personalize it. Or do the same with a favorite song lyric, then perform it karaoke style. Go all out and dress up for the occasion.
If you have a special occasion you’re celebrating, you may want to have a poet put your feelings into a formal poem for you. Reciting the poem will make a bigger impact than just handing it over and as it may be gift wrapped, make sure you have a copy to read aloud.
Once you get the hang of it, love letters will flow from your heart and fingers. Remember the little kid in you and keep it simple.
Copyright 2005 Renee Michaels
Renee Michaels is an enthusiastic woman for all aspects of life and its fullest enjoyment. She uses her design, writing and life skills to develop web businesses. For a new romantic anniversary idea or two, visit LoveGifts.
By Renee Michaels
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