Changing the way you look at Yourself

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Changing the way you look at Yourself

For Advice from an expert at Love-Sessions

Day by day, the majority of us have a painful war with ourselves. It is a constant fight that includes constant criticism, pressure, anger, sadness and endless cruel comparisons. It is an everyday struggle that gets in the way and keeps you from seeing yourself for who you really are and achieving your true purposes in life. Where did this war begin and why?

self esteemThe answer to that question can be answered in a well-known and very often used word: Self-Esteem. What exactly does self-esteem mean? Self-Esteem is the way you look at and feel about yourself. The word "esteem" itself, means to value something or someone, thinking and believing that that something or someone is of great importance. If you are always fighting with yourself and feeding yourself thoughts that make you feel less valuable or not as important or attractive as other people, then you are suffering from Low Self-Esteem. Unfortunately, most people suffer from this, but the good news is, you can kick low self-esteem out of your life, inviting and living a high self-esteem instead.

Living a life of great confidence can be challenging, but can be done. You might have even tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that it did not quite work out the way you imagined. If this is true, do not run away just yet! This behavior is very common. Like every other person, you have probably adapted and grown to believe that feeling insecure and feeling that you are not good enough is normal and impossible to beat; therefore you just accept it and set an subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. This is where you need to take a few steps back. The thing about low self-esteem is, that is cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. The first thing you need to stop doing is giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines.

Accomplishing high self-esteem will not happen in an instant. It requires hard work and constant reassurance. When working on achieving high self-esteem, know that it can never and will never be achieved as long as you keep negative ingredients involved, such as giving up. This is one of the biggest reasons you look at yourself in such a valueless manner. Yes, it will be hard to get rid of, especially because "giving up" is partnered with another negative ingredient named "laziness". The truth is, you do wish to change the way you look at and feel about yourself, but you have grown to become too lazy to do anything about it. Why? For the factual reason that you find it easier to stay in the place and position that you are already in. It does not matter if it is an extremely negative position or place. What does matter and needs to be realized is that you have chosen to stay in negativity for so long, that you have become so comfortable with the fact that you do not like yourself. You may not have noticed, as most of the other low self-esteemed don't, that you now crave and need to feel sorry for yourself and subconsciously enjoy victimizing yourself and grabbing negative attention from others. This is exactly why terminating low self-esteem is difficult. You handed over all of your power and strength to it, allowing it to dictate your being and the way you handle life.

To Continue part two of this article of: Changing the way you look at Yourself

Marriage Counseling

romance and relationships
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Marriage Counseling

For Marriage Counseling at Love-Sessions

Counseling: When to Seek Expert Help

Though counseling is well known and proved to help people with their issues, many still hesitate to receive expert advice from counselors. Are you in need of expert advice? The following information will help you understand what counseling is and how it can help you, plus explain when you should get a counselor's point of view and advice on your issues. marriage counseling

A counselor is someone (usually with a major in psychology) who specializes and is qualified to help others better understand their issues and assist them in finding the best solutions to their problems. Most people feel offended when counseling is suggested because they feel that they are being portrayed as a "crazy" person. Seeking expert advice and input on the events that take place in your life does not define you as crazy or less knowledgeable than anyone else. In fact, accepting that you are experiencing a difficult situation in your life defines you as more knowledgeable, because you care enough about yourself and your issues to find successful solutions.

Too many people mistake counselors with psychics or miracle workers. The truth is, no one knows what is really going to happen in your future beforehand, nor can anyone make things 100% better for you. You hold that power. Counselors are dedicated to giving you good guidance and advice on how to make your troubling issues better, so that you can live happier and get what you need and deserve from the things and the people in your life. A counselor will also assist you in becoming a better friend to yourself, teaching you self-help methods that will help you love yourself more so that you can achieve your dreams and goals. Keep in mind that there is no need to feel embarrassed or afraid to talk about anything with your counselor. Counselors do not and will not judge you. Their only desire is to get all the information that is necessary from you, so that they can help you in everyway they can.

There are many cases where someone wants professional help, but does not know when it is the right time to get it. The right time to receive expert assistance is when you feel you cannot solve your problems on your own even though you have tried on numerous occasions, or whenever you feel the need and desire for professional input. You know when the right time is, so when you get that feeling, be sure to act on it right away before you give your insecurities and/or doubts about counseling time to come to surface, which will most likely cause you to back off and change your mind. If you do start to get doubts, just fight it by keeping in mind of why you considered expert help in the first place. By ignoring your own cries for attention and assistance, will only make your issue worse over time and leave you more frustrated than you were to begin with. So listen to yourself and trust yourself.

To Continue part two of this article of: Counseling: When to Seek Expert Help

Handling Your Fear On failure, death, flying, or any other phobia

romance and relationships
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Handling Your Fear On failure, death, flying, or any other phobia

Get over your Fears

Fear is a feeling that too often runs our lives. Whether it is fear of commitment, rejection, failure, death, flying, or any other phobia, it tends to keep us from living our lives to the fullest. Fear can be handled rationally and can be controlled if you are willing to work on it and are motivated enough in controlling it, instead of it controlling you.

The first thing you need to do is take the time to get to know your fears. Most of the time, people are aware of their fears, but never really get to know them. Set up a time when you can sit down and have an interview with your fear. What is your fear and where does it come from, and why do you fear it? These are questions that must be provided with answers in order to better understand your fear, so that you can start brainstorming about methods that will work best for you.

Start with acknowledging what the fear really is. Once you are fully aware of what your fear is, then work on figuring out where it comes from. For example, if you have a fear of failure, what gave birth to such a fear? There is a cause for everything, so if you feel puzzled on tracking down the place of where it came from, keep looking inside yourself until you find it. Did you do poorly in school as a young child? Did your parents constantly pressure you to do well, making you feel anxious and incapable of ever pleasing them? Knowing where your fear comes from is the biggest key to understanding it. Understanding your fears is good because it also means that you are able to find solutions to it.

After making the discovery of where your fear(s) come from, you may then ask yourself why you fear it so much. Many people have a fear to fly, for instance, because they hear news of airplane crashes and are terrified that they might share the same fate as the planes that crashed. Others fear flying because they are intimidated with the fact that they would be so high above the ground. Learning why your fear exists so strongly is important and will help you learn more about yourself and the way you think about things.

Once you figure all of this out, what do you do to handle your fear? Research tends to help greatly. Let's say you have a fear of commitment. The best thing to do is look back at all the experiences that helped build this fear. Did you get heartbroken several times from past relationships and now run away when an opportunity for a serious relationship comes to surface? Go back in time to those relationships and re-live what went wrong and why. You will discover that all those situations were different in some way and handled in different ways. What does that tell you? It tells you that no one is the same and no relationship is perfect. Admitting to this fact will help you understand that running away is not the answer, but what you really need to do is face and accept the imperfection in your relationships and work on ways to better the challenging situations.

To Continue the article: Handling Your Fears