Advice Dating: 3 Ways to Deal with a Rotten Date after It's Over

At least one time in your life (if you have not experienced it already) you are going to have a rotten date. The question is how do you deal with it after the date is over?
In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray finds himself reliving the same day over and over again until he basically gets things right, including his dating relationship. Living the same date over and over again can either be a blessing or a curse. In real life however you do not get a second chance to make a first impression. This means you are going to have at least one rotten date in your life (if you have not experienced it already) and there is no going back to correct it.

It can be a lot of things that contribute to a bad date which are not in your control. Rotten weather, a restaurant with less than stellar service or some other external circumstance that neither of you could have predicted. Hopefully you and your date will have a sense of humor about such misfortunes and allow it to draw the two of you closer together.

And then there is the obvious. For whatever reason, it is not working between you and your date. It could be a personality clash, lack of conversation to the point of uncomfortable silence or a number of other things. You may not want to write the other person off fully but for now this date is done.

So how can you deal with a rotten date after all is said and done

1. You Are Forgiven

There is a tendency for people to beat themselves up terribly when a date goes bad. They keep asking themselves the same question; what do I do wrong? It is okay to critique yourself to see if there was something you could have said or done differently to make the date go smoother, but if you are using that question to punish yourself then stop right there. Nobody is perfect and beating yourself up from the time your bad date ended to the time of your next date is a good form of self sabotage.

Keep in mind it takes two to tango so unless you were blatantly rude and obnoxious, it is okay to give some of that blame to the other person. You do not have to call them up and start critiquing them either. Just accept the fact that what is done is done and move on.

2. The Friendly Shoulder

It is not good to keep things bottled up inside of you. The best thing to do sometimes after a bad date is to talk it over with a good friend or a close relative. They may be able to offer objective criticism and advice; or they may understand that the only thing you need right now is someone who is willing to listen. If they are willing to give you the friendly shoulder to vent, cry or laugh on then by all means take it.

3. Get Going

You can avoid a lot of self pity by forcing yourself to get involved with other activities. Exercise, go out with friends to a movie or a restaurant (if your bad date happened in a certain restaurant, try to go back to that place with your friends to show there is no lingering stigma) or plan a special occasion for yourself. Getting active is a great way to truly put the bad date experience behind you.

Things happen in life and a rotten date is one of them. The key is to not beat yourself up over it. Just know that it is okay to forgive you and the other person, find a friendly shoulder and by all means get going with activity. This way you can go a long way to guaranteeing your next date will be a good one.

Daryl Campbell invites you to get more relationship and dating tips, tools, videos, up to the minute information plus your free copy of 101 Romantic Ideas. It's all at The Dating Tip

By Daryl Campbell
Published: 10/17/2007

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Should Men Always Bear The Bill Burden On Dates?

One of the touchiest dating issues today has to do with money. Who pays - the man or the woman, and when? Read on to find out...

Once you're into a relationship, you would have worked out what is best for you as a couple, but in the meantime, it's tough to know what's expected of you. Typically, men today are put into a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. Some women are insulted if men always insist on paying. On the other hand, if men don't offer to pay instantly, some women will think that they're just being cheap or ungentlemanly.

There are a couple of general indicators determining which of these three options is taking place. Once you've learned them, you'll be prepared to handle any tricky dating scenario. Take a look and sort out your confusion.

WHEN SHOULD THE MAN PAY

On first dates: First impressions are important. On first dates, it will be the best bet if the man makes the first move when the bill comes. This goes not just for the very first date, but throughout the early stages of the relationship. Paying for things is not just the gentlemanly thing to do, it also indicates that you are responsible, steady and well-established. The girl will be impressed.

If you asked her out: A good general rule when it comes to these situations is to ask yourself, "Who asked who out?" If it was the guy who instigated the date, then he will be expected to pay. In fact, it's good for the man to be prepared to pay, regardless of whether the girl asked him out or not because girls always like it if the guy foots the bill.

On special occasions: For special events, such as an anniversary, birthday, holiday dinners, the man should offer to pay. It makes them appear gracious and classy. Guys should remember not to make a big show of their generosity by letting the girl know how much a meal cost.

WHEN SHOULD THE WOMAN PAY

If she asked you out: Once again, the guy should be ready to pay even if she asked him out. However, in this situation, it's more likely that she will cover both of you, and why not? The date was her idea. Unfortunately, some men still have a problem with letting women pay, but there is no reason to feel insecure if this happens occasionally.

On your birthday: Obviously, this is the one occasion when she should cover her date and he should accept gifts or treats on his special day. She should be more than happy to pay.

If she's adamant about it: If, for whatever reason, she absolutely insists on paying, the simple solution is to just let her. Weigh the cost of angering her versus the slight embarrassment of her whipping out her plastic for both of you in a fancy restaurant.

GO DUTCH

If you're a steady couple: Once you've reached the stage where you're splitting all your bills, you've likely fallen into the steady couple category. At this stage, there is no longer any reason why only the guy should pay for everything, especially if both of you have similar incomes.

On joint purchases: If you're living together or going on a vacation, split all the bills for items or services that you'll both be using. If you're travelling a long distance in her car, pay half the gas money. The opposite situation, if she doesn't immediately offer, there is nothing wrong with suggesting that she should contribute. You can't go wrong if you remember to let her take the lead, and respond accordingly, or be prepared to pay the whole bill.

So enjoy yourselves without worrying about expenses.

Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and the webmaster of http://www.datersmanual.com where he provides relationship advice for women and dating tips for men to help in building healthy and successful relationships. Also, visit his website http://www.loversmanual.com for healthy sex education and learn the modern sex techniques and tips to create more passion and intimacy into your love life and relationships.

By Michael Douglas
Published: 4/28/2007

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How to Make a Lasting Impression on Her

Know how to make a lasting impression on her and achieve dating success. Get the relationship you've always wanted with the girl of your dreams.

You saw the girl of your dreams and in your mind and heart you want to give it a shot to meet her.This could make or break you and you need to do the right things to make a lasting impression on her. They say that you only have one chance to make a good impression. Her are some tips for you.

Relax and be yourself. It maybe nerve wracking to finally meet and talk with the girl of your dreams for the first time but try to control your anxiety. It maybe flattering for her to see you a little bit nervous but do not let your nervousness control you. To make a lasting impression on her, just be yourself, relax and enjoy the moment with her.

Look at your best. This is a very basic requirement to make a lasting impression on her. You are just in the getting to know each other stage and you may get judged by the way you look. Look at your best, nice hair cut, good hygiene, choose clothing that match your personality and carry yourself well. Outside appearance counts if you want to make a lasting impression.

Look her in the eye. This is a very powerful way to connect and make a lasting impression on her. Some women admitted that they go out with a guy because he kept an eye contact with them. When you finally meet her, keep an eye contact while she is talking to show that you are interested not only with the words she is saying but because you are interested with her.

Make her laugh. When the situation gets awkward or you do not know what to say or do, simply break the ice by throwing a nice joke and make her laugh. Most women are worrier and they love to be with guys who have sense of humor. You will definitely make a lasting impression on her if you can make her laugh and forget her worries while she is with you.

Be a gentleman and treat her well. In this modern dating world, sometimes men forget about chivalry. It maybe dead for some men, but proves that you are different. Treating her well will always make a lasting impression on her. Open doors for her and treat her like a princess and she will never forget you.

Do you want to learn the techniques to make women compelled to see you again? Learn the secrets of attraction and seduction visit How To Be Irresistible To Women.

To know more about love and dating visit All About Relationships.

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including How to Make a Lasting Impression on Her. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

By Gerry Restrivera
Published: 7/23/2008

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