Building Relationships, Commitment and Love

Al guideline of how to build satisfying relationships, commitment, friendship, and even love. We discuss interactions with those significant others in your life including that special person, whether or not you are already together. This article focuses on imagine, informed, and inspire. Stay tuned.

We continue our series on how to build satisfying interpersonal relationships. Commitment and love are important to all of us. We all want to succeed when dealing with others, whether with coworkers, friends, or loved ones. You know or you should know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly things not to do. But we have many suggestions, now continuing with the letter I. We have written a double series of articles, chock full of suggestions for the letter I. Here the focus is on imagine, informed, and inspire.

I is for imagine. Imagination is king. Before it can happen someone has to imagine it. Don’t stop in the middle, don’t stop before you start, let your imagination run wild. Imagining that he or she loves you is the first step to making it happen. Who knows, maybe your intended is imagining the same thing. Imagining that you make a major sale is a different matter. Your perspective client is surely not thinking about your product and you. Don’t let that stop you. Imagine that client’s specific needs. Imagine how your product or products can meet those needs. Imagine how you can deal with the client’s objections. Imagine how you can spend your commission. Then go out and do it.

I is for informed. Make sure that you know what the situation is. Do your spadework. It helps if you have access to sensitive information. But even if you don’t, there usually is a lot of public information available. Don’t believe everything that you read or everything that you hear. And learn to read between the lines or if you are talking face to face learn to read body language.

I is for inspire. Few feelings are as great as the one that surges inside you when you realize you are inspiring someone to go further, to break their own limits. I’m a teacher and inspiring students is one of the great perks of teaching. Believe me, it doesn’t happen all that often. On the other hand, two minutes before it happens I usually have no clue that inspiration is on the horizon. Many successful people remember a select few teachers, mentors, bosses, or family members who inspired them to become what they are. You can do it. And when you do do it, make sure to inspire others to follow in your footsteps. Or even go way beyond you. You owe it to them. And you owe it to yourself.

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CONFIDENT IN DATING!

I once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but its easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.

Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very attractive.

After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.

If you are going to date the beauty in the corner and father her children then running away is not a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far too many men decide in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of the dating fray before it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the first move.

The fact is, the confident men more often than not get the girl, because the confident man has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women so its not necessarily about looks. No, its about something within. Confidence is about self respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding what you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is also something that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days as fashion for men is everywhere.

Ultimately we all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our confidence away at work or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases. If a man can do one thing for himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an honest way and then go about doing something to increase them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good about you.


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