Relationship Dating: This Cannot Be Their Family

You checked your birth certificate and you are from planet earth. So is your date. Their family? You are not so sure.

Count your blessings that this date is finally over. No it has nothing to do with your date. As a matter of fact the two of you have been hitting it off pretty good. No it has not gotten to the marriage talk stage but you both feel you have a future together.

After tonight you are not so sure. This was the first time you met their family and in many way you wish it was the last time. Sure things started out okay. Mom, dad, brother and sister greeted you warmly and exchanged all the correct pleasantries. Unfortunately from that moment on it all went downhill.

As the evening wore on you came to several conclusions:

a. Dad is an obnoxious jerk

b. Junior is studying for his entrance exam into Moron University

c. Mother is the nosiest human being you have ever met in your life

d. The sister is suffering from a severe case of SRS commonly known as snide remark syndrome.

You periodically turn to your date during the course of the evening and swear to yourself that they could not possible be from this family. You can convince yourself that your date is a scientist here to do a case study. Of course it's not true but it did help you get though the evening.

Now you've got a situation on your hands. You feel strongly about your dating partner but the very thought of visiting that family again let alone having them as in laws makes you physically ill.

So what can you do about it?

1. Get Over It

You love your dating partner so you accept the fact that their family is an important part of their life. You grin and bear it while telling yourself that if the two you decide to get married it's not like they are going to move in with you. You hope and pray.

2. Get To Know Them

First impressions are lasting impressions but they are not the only impressions. If and when you are invited back, try to go in with an open mind. See if there is so common ground that can make the visit easier. Or see if they have interest that you have always been curious about. Sometimes once you get past the initial shock, you discover things are not as bad as they appear.

3. Get Going

Just forget it. You tell yourself that your date is a wonderful person but there is no way you can deal with their family. If you go this route be up front with your dating partner. Understand they may give you an earful for having that type of attitude but at least you didn't try to con then them.

Now your dating partner may be sympathetic to your cause. They may love their family but accept the fact they are not to everyone's taste. Therefore listen if they offer some options which will keep the relationship going. If you feel as you say you do than do not make them beg and do everything with reason to see if the two of you can work out a compromise.

Catch him and Keep him...

I came across a book by a guy who was basically telling men what to do get a girl in bed. "How to bag a (insert naughty word here) buddy in 10 days!" The title proudly proclaimed. I chuckled to myself, thinking of all the immature men who would seriously believe there was such a thing, plunking down whatever outrageous fee for the book, only to be disappointed by the fact that (a) no self respecting woman would allow herself to be used like some sort of inflatable doll for his pleasure, (b) a platonic sex relationship can often get just as complicated, if not more so, as a regular long term one, (c) even if he did find such a relationship, it grows old very fast, for both of you, no matter what a man may think.

Sorry, you can't dodge responsibility.

When I visited Catch Him and Keep Him , I felt I was viewing the female equivalent of the above ideology.

The site promises the female visitor that they are "about to learn the secrets that most women will never know about meeting and keeping great men."

It author of said wondrous secrets says that they can make your relationship cheat proof, reveal the five things that women do that kill intimacy, and tell you how to spot a great guy. Once you sign up, you are treated to what is essentially an advertisement for an e-book, with the option to obtain a seven-day trial.

In much the manner of a fortuneteller revealing that they have envisioned a tall dark stranger in your future, this site is a trickster designed to fool people into going against their own instincts.

I mean, what happened to simply being real? How, if you are trying to recall a bevy of rules, are you being yourself?

When I finally met the man I eventually married, I had played all the games, tried to listen to "The Rules", bought into the Oprah/Dr Phil Logic of the day and finally said, "You know what! I am tired, I just want to be myself, and if the person doesn't like it, then lump him!"

Luckily, prior to our date, my future hubby had decided the same thing.

We got together, no rules, just a boy and a girl meeting, who saw one another, and fell, in love.

As a matter of fact, on our second date he told me, "Hey this is me, all of me, take it or leave it."

I grinned at him and said, "I'll take it!"

To me the rules are simple. Be yourself, for as the old saying goes, it is better to be hated for who you are, then loved for who you are not. Trying to act and be something other than you is self-defeating, and all you will do is end up resenting your partner. Find the person who thinks you are fabulous, where you are a virgin or have had more than your share of dancing partners.

All I can say my sisters, is that you are beautiful as you are-don't tie yourself in knots looking for the one-the "one" is the man who will love you for you, annoying faults and all.


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Dating Ideas: Romantic Date Ideas

A good or a bad date can make or break a relation. Therefore, one has to be careful while planning a date. Here are some ideas for a fun date, which will also be memorable.

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'First Impressions are the last impressions', 'The smaller path ensures the larger journey', etc. etc. Such phrases are thrown to new lovers or people at the verge of going into relationships a dime a dozen. Other than phrases, dating tips are also given about by well-meaning friends and family members.

The meaning of dates change as, when and if the relation grows and moves ahead. Therefore, there are different dating tips for people going on a date, depending on the depth of their relationship.

One can also have a talk over coffee and snacks. First dates are an excellent opportunity to know more about the person and also as a chance to tell more about oneself. Therefore, activities like catching a movie or an opera should be avoided on a first date. A first date can have a movie or opera on the menu if a dinner or lunch is already on the cards. However, drive-in are a different cup of tea altogether. While movies in theater do not allow a person to speak or share ideas, a drive in movie theater is a different experience altogether.

Lunch and dinners are time tested and honored date ideas. If you are worrying about the non availability of privacy to talk, go for a candle lit dinner. A candle lit dinner will immediately accuse anyone looking towards you of invasion of privacy. A candle lit dinner will also give you a chance to talk to each other and therefore know more about each other.

Lunch and dinner dates are the best to share likes, dislikes and ideas. In this way, future activities can be decided upon. For example, if a common liking to rock music is found, the next date can always be attending a rock concert.

Other than knowing each other well, dates can also be a good way of letting one's hair down. Therefore, one good date can take place at the nearby video arcade or at outdoor games and activities like bowling, jogging, or over a game of pool. Humor is the best way to start and end the day. Therefore, if your date has a comedy club venue on the cards, it won't be no laughing matter.

Traveling around for a day is also a great date idea. To add some excitement to the date, you can travel by public transport like the bus, train or the cab all through the day. In this way, you can cover a large area of interest in one day, like the mall, the zoo, the park and other nearby picnic spots.

Maybe the most fun and creative date idea is the beach.The beach is an excellent venue for a date.One can spend the whole day on a beach swimming, listening to music and sunbathing. Swimming also creates a huge appetite, so be sure to have a considerable amount of food at hand. While the beach is a fun-filled venue during the day, it has its own life during the night. A silent walk on the beach during the night is a definite good date idea.

Spending time with kids is one of the best ways for a person to interact with others. Therefore, one good idea of a date is going to the nearby park and playing with the kids or even your neighborhood children. You can also play various children games with them, which will definitely be one memorable date.

If you are of a creative bent of mind, there are various creative dating ideas. Some of the creative, yet fun activities you can have on a date are painting, writing, pottery and other group activities. Planning a picnic in a place that offers some calm and peace is also a good date idea. Picnics are also a great way to cut down on expenses while on a date.

By Roy D'Silva