Advice Dating: 3 Ways to Deal with a Rotten Date after It's Over

At least one time in your life (if you have not experienced it already) you are going to have a rotten date. The question is how do you deal with it after the date is over?
In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray finds himself reliving the same day over and over again until he basically gets things right, including his dating relationship. Living the same date over and over again can either be a blessing or a curse. In real life however you do not get a second chance to make a first impression. This means you are going to have at least one rotten date in your life (if you have not experienced it already) and there is no going back to correct it.

It can be a lot of things that contribute to a bad date which are not in your control. Rotten weather, a restaurant with less than stellar service or some other external circumstance that neither of you could have predicted. Hopefully you and your date will have a sense of humor about such misfortunes and allow it to draw the two of you closer together.

And then there is the obvious. For whatever reason, it is not working between you and your date. It could be a personality clash, lack of conversation to the point of uncomfortable silence or a number of other things. You may not want to write the other person off fully but for now this date is done.

So how can you deal with a rotten date after all is said and done

1. You Are Forgiven

There is a tendency for people to beat themselves up terribly when a date goes bad. They keep asking themselves the same question; what do I do wrong? It is okay to critique yourself to see if there was something you could have said or done differently to make the date go smoother, but if you are using that question to punish yourself then stop right there. Nobody is perfect and beating yourself up from the time your bad date ended to the time of your next date is a good form of self sabotage.

Keep in mind it takes two to tango so unless you were blatantly rude and obnoxious, it is okay to give some of that blame to the other person. You do not have to call them up and start critiquing them either. Just accept the fact that what is done is done and move on.

2. The Friendly Shoulder

It is not good to keep things bottled up inside of you. The best thing to do sometimes after a bad date is to talk it over with a good friend or a close relative. They may be able to offer objective criticism and advice; or they may understand that the only thing you need right now is someone who is willing to listen. If they are willing to give you the friendly shoulder to vent, cry or laugh on then by all means take it.

3. Get Going

You can avoid a lot of self pity by forcing yourself to get involved with other activities. Exercise, go out with friends to a movie or a restaurant (if your bad date happened in a certain restaurant, try to go back to that place with your friends to show there is no lingering stigma) or plan a special occasion for yourself. Getting active is a great way to truly put the bad date experience behind you.

Things happen in life and a rotten date is one of them. The key is to not beat yourself up over it. Just know that it is okay to forgive you and the other person, find a friendly shoulder and by all means get going with activity. This way you can go a long way to guaranteeing your next date will be a good one.

Daryl Campbell invites you to get more relationship and dating tips, tools, videos, up to the minute information plus your free copy of 101 Romantic Ideas. It's all at The Dating Tip

By Daryl Campbell
Published: 10/17/2007

You can send your views,comments or suggestions by commenting in the "comment" box below.