Finding Love Part 4

Finding Love Part 4
Things are moving a little faster than I had planned. Sorry for this short chapter.
Thank you for all your comments. I like how you guys responded to my question. As for Brian's age, he is the same age as Angel. I think that is all you need to know. Actually, I haven't really planned on their age. Okay, I know that might sound weird but I am being honest. If you guys really have problem with the age, let me know.

(Angel’s POV)

I thought about it the whole night, and I came to realize that I was depending on Brian too much. I wasn’t just worried about my conversation with mom, but something deep inside my heart was telling me that something was terribly wrong. Don’t ask me how, but I started feeling this emptiness inside. It was worse than before. I am not one of those people who can move on with life that easily. I loved Tanner with all that I had, but things still went wrong. Was I expecting too much of my life, or was life expecting too much of me? The answer didn’t really matter; the conclusion was still the same. My life was amiss. Every day I hoped that he would come but it suddenly hit me, as if I could see again; I realized the truth. He had moved on with his life, and I was supposed to do the same. Life doesn’t wait for any one. It just goes on and on. May be I was making a big deal out of things. It’s not like I am the only one who has been betrayed in love. Yes, betrayal was the exact word that suited this situation. It was what happened to me because of him. It was better if I just accept the fact.

I hadn’t checked my email in what seemed like forever. No, it was just few months. I hated checking email, knowing that there was going to be no email from him. I should just forget about him, but things aren’t that easy. It’s all so complicated. I am surviving with out it all, am I not? I checked my phone and surely there were like 4 SMS from Brian. He knew I loved reading his sweet SMS, so he always kept on sending me. I checked the first one and it said, Call me when you can, and rest of them said something similar. I wasn’t so sure what he meant. I mean he could just call me right, than why was he sending me like 4 SMS asking me to call him? Why don’t I just call him and see? But I couldn’t help but wonder if something was up. Something must be up, I decided.
In the first ring, he answered.
"Angle," he whispered.
"It’s me. Is something up? You know, you could have just called me, I would have answered you anytime."
"I know but I just….. Forget it."
"Forget what? Just tell me. You can tell me everything, you know that right?"
"I know, but this is different. I am so desperate to tell you this, but I can’t."
"You can just try. And why can’t you tell me?"
"Things got really weird today. I…. am…. I mean…"
"Listen, you have got to tell me what it is."
"I had a dream today where you were running away from me, as if you were afraid of me. I don’t know what came up, but it was really realistic. I…. I was so af-raid of loosing you."
"Just relax. I am right here, and I am not planning to leave you."
"You don’t understand and I can’t even explain this to you."
"If you can’t, it’s all right. Just take your time. Don’t worry, okay?"
"Kay," he took a slow, deep breath. He seemed nervous and afraid for some reason. I only want him to be happy. I feel so worthless, useless, and helpless. The feelings I have for him are so hard to understand, but one thing is for sure- it breaks my heart to see him sad. I am realizing what he means to me every single day! Oh my…. What is wrong with me? I can’t even figure myself out! This is pathetic.
"I am sorry I am disturbing you. You should be sleeping right now. It’s like 1A.M."
"You are way important than sleep. Don’t worry, I wasn’t sleepy any way."
"Again? What is wrong with you? You should get some more sleep. You need rest and you are-" I was surprised to see the change. Here I thought he was afraid, but now he was forgetting his own problem while trying to solve my own. My best friend was so caring, and I feel really fortunate to have him in my life. That was for sure.
"You love giving me lecture, don’t you?"
"Hum…" He pretended to be thinking. "It depends." I was happy to see him act normal again. Whatever he was going through, he seemed to handle himself again. He never ceases to surprise me and I loved him for that.
"I hate you!"
He chuckled. "You know, in order to hate someone, you must love that person before."
"You wish!"
He chuckled, but then stopped. There was a silence for a while. "I am a little worried about you. You will take care of yourself right?"
I laughed because he sounded so serious. It was hilarious to see him like that. "Whatever. It’s not like you are never going to see me again. We see each other every day!"
"But it’s still not enough," he still sounded serious.
"I agree." I can just imagine him smiling. He always smiled when I agree with something that he feels.
"You would better sleep now. You need to rest more and take more care of yourself. And…." He stopped mid sentence, as if he wasn’t sure if he should say this or not. For some reason, my heart was beating really fast, like I knew what he was going to say even before he said it himself.
"And?" I asked, still afraid and excited for some unknown reason.
"I- I love- I love you," I realized that I was holding my breath before he said that. I was shocked and relieved. The more I thought about it, the more confusing it got. Did I hear him right, or was I just imagining this whole thing. Or maybe he was just saying it as a friend. No, that couldn’t be the reason. I know him, and he is not like that. He has never said that before to me, but why now? For some reason, I was glad he did. It made me feel something…. Deep and lasting, as my mom called it. Who was I kidding? It is impossible!
Before I could say anything, I realized that he just hung up the phone. It made it even more obvious than before that he was serious. I couldn’t stop think if it was just a dream. Suddenly, as if in movies, my flash back of Brian started. He was always so wonderful, amazing, sweet, and cute. He was everything that I have always wanted. I never realize how much I actually care for this guy, and I have never realized how much he meant to me. His smiling face was on my mind. His perfect dimple made him even more charming. I have never looked at him that way. His gray eyes were so beautiful, mysterious, and so filled with warmth and love. Yes, love. Why didn’t I notice it before? I could easily imagine him saying "I love you", with a cute nervous expression in his face. He was so gorgeous. I slowly closed my eyes, and there he was again! He was still saying that he loved me, making me giggle with delight, and I just couldn’t help but smile. I slept with a big, smile on my face. I didn’t care what I was going to say to him, or what I was going to do. Each day had its own problem, and I will leave this problem for tomorrow. I just wanted to stay this way. I even dream of him, and saying that he loved me, even in my dreams! I wasn’t sure how, or why, but for some reason Tanner was the furthest thing from my mind.

By only way