Dating Relationship: You Like Your Date But Hate Their Friends

You and your date usually have a great time when you go out together. Not so much when their friends tag along. So what can you do about it?

You and your dating partner have really gotten serious about each other. You have moved to the next level in so many areas. Now it is not like you are talking about marriage or engagement but it has come down to the fact that you want to date each other exclusively.

But there is one strong reservation holding you back. It has nothing to do with your dating partner. You realize they are not faultless and have no qualms about accepting them exactly as they are. No it is not their family either. You have met them on a few occasions and have hit it off quite nicely with mom, dad and siblings.

It's that other crew you have issues with; namely his crummy rotten friends. Try as you might you just cannot seem to warm up to them. Who are we kidding? You can't stand them.

You accept the fact that people are individuals but from your perspective every time you get together with his crew, there is a certain group mentality that takes over which is not to your liking.

To be fair they are not cliquish. As a matter of fact they go out of their way to try to include you in their activities. But you want no part of anything to do with these chowderheads.

So what are your options?

1. End the Relationship

That's right. You know how your date feels about his peeps. They are going to remain an integral part of his life and since you cannot stand them why go forward with the relationship?

2. Tell Your Date How You Feel

Let them know how strongly you feel about them and your feelings and issues with his friends. You have always been truthful with each other and that's as it should be.

They may take it to heart and since they like you so much decide that they will not subject you to going out with his posse. Your date will maintain his friendships but kindly leave you out of their get togethers. If you feel strongly about this person that may be a compromise you can accept.

Or they may take it to heart and decide that they want to end the relationship. No matter how they feel about you nobody is going to pick and choose their friends. These people have seen them through good times and bad. Besides your date has known them a lot longer than they have you. If it comes down to loyalty your date may decide that you lose.

3. Digging

Make a real effort to find out what it is your dating partner likes about his friends and try to see if you can get on that level. Or see if you can connect with some of them on a one to one basis. Sometimes when a bunch of people get together they can get caught up in group think but you might find each individual is nothing like you thought they were.

You and your date like what you have got going on. If you want to build on that then you are going to accept their friends or not. Your date has made it clear they are an important part of his or her life. For them how you get along with his friends may determine whether the two of you have a future together.

Relationship Dating: This Cannot Be Their Family

You checked your birth certificate and you are from planet earth. So is your date. Their family? You are not so sure.

Count your blessings that this date is finally over. No it has nothing to do with your date. As a matter of fact the two of you have been hitting it off pretty good. No it has not gotten to the marriage talk stage but you both feel you have a future together.

After tonight you are not so sure. This was the first time you met their family and in many way you wish it was the last time. Sure things started out okay. Mom, dad, brother and sister greeted you warmly and exchanged all the correct pleasantries. Unfortunately from that moment on it all went downhill.

As the evening wore on you came to several conclusions:

a. Dad is an obnoxious jerk

b. Junior is studying for his entrance exam into Moron University

c. Mother is the nosiest human being you have ever met in your life

d. The sister is suffering from a severe case of SRS commonly known as snide remark syndrome.

You periodically turn to your date during the course of the evening and swear to yourself that they could not possible be from this family. You can convince yourself that your date is a scientist here to do a case study. Of course it's not true but it did help you get though the evening.

Now you've got a situation on your hands. You feel strongly about your dating partner but the very thought of visiting that family again let alone having them as in laws makes you physically ill.

So what can you do about it?

1. Get Over It

You love your dating partner so you accept the fact that their family is an important part of their life. You grin and bear it while telling yourself that if the two you decide to get married it's not like they are going to move in with you. You hope and pray.

2. Get To Know Them

First impressions are lasting impressions but they are not the only impressions. If and when you are invited back, try to go in with an open mind. See if there is so common ground that can make the visit easier. Or see if they have interest that you have always been curious about. Sometimes once you get past the initial shock, you discover things are not as bad as they appear.

3. Get Going

Just forget it. You tell yourself that your date is a wonderful person but there is no way you can deal with their family. If you go this route be up front with your dating partner. Understand they may give you an earful for having that type of attitude but at least you didn't try to con then them.

Now your dating partner may be sympathetic to your cause. They may love their family but accept the fact they are not to everyone's taste. Therefore listen if they offer some options which will keep the relationship going. If you feel as you say you do than do not make them beg and do everything with reason to see if the two of you can work out a compromise.

Catch him and Keep him...

I came across a book by a guy who was basically telling men what to do get a girl in bed. "How to bag a (insert naughty word here) buddy in 10 days!" The title proudly proclaimed. I chuckled to myself, thinking of all the immature men who would seriously believe there was such a thing, plunking down whatever outrageous fee for the book, only to be disappointed by the fact that (a) no self respecting woman would allow herself to be used like some sort of inflatable doll for his pleasure, (b) a platonic sex relationship can often get just as complicated, if not more so, as a regular long term one, (c) even if he did find such a relationship, it grows old very fast, for both of you, no matter what a man may think.

Sorry, you can't dodge responsibility.

When I visited Catch Him and Keep Him , I felt I was viewing the female equivalent of the above ideology.

The site promises the female visitor that they are "about to learn the secrets that most women will never know about meeting and keeping great men."

It author of said wondrous secrets says that they can make your relationship cheat proof, reveal the five things that women do that kill intimacy, and tell you how to spot a great guy. Once you sign up, you are treated to what is essentially an advertisement for an e-book, with the option to obtain a seven-day trial.

In much the manner of a fortuneteller revealing that they have envisioned a tall dark stranger in your future, this site is a trickster designed to fool people into going against their own instincts.

I mean, what happened to simply being real? How, if you are trying to recall a bevy of rules, are you being yourself?

When I finally met the man I eventually married, I had played all the games, tried to listen to "The Rules", bought into the Oprah/Dr Phil Logic of the day and finally said, "You know what! I am tired, I just want to be myself, and if the person doesn't like it, then lump him!"

Luckily, prior to our date, my future hubby had decided the same thing.

We got together, no rules, just a boy and a girl meeting, who saw one another, and fell, in love.

As a matter of fact, on our second date he told me, "Hey this is me, all of me, take it or leave it."

I grinned at him and said, "I'll take it!"

To me the rules are simple. Be yourself, for as the old saying goes, it is better to be hated for who you are, then loved for who you are not. Trying to act and be something other than you is self-defeating, and all you will do is end up resenting your partner. Find the person who thinks you are fabulous, where you are a virgin or have had more than your share of dancing partners.

All I can say my sisters, is that you are beautiful as you are-don't tie yourself in knots looking for the one-the "one" is the man who will love you for you, annoying faults and all.


IS THE INFORMATION USEFUL?
PLS COMMENT BELOW.